Dear Friends,

First off, I want to apologize for being so out of touch this week, I have had some difficulties this spring break. I noticed a lump in my neck last week and several more over the following days, so I went to get it checked out. As of tonight, I am still waiting for the results. Here is my story:

To hear the words "You could have lymphatic cancer," at the age of 20 years old is like having pins pierce through your brain and ping off as they shatter your world like glass. Just a week ago I was at the top of the world. I am a senior of International Business at the University of Denver, working two jobs to put myself through and managing a business fraternity and a sorority as well. As I was finishing my 60 hour sleepless finals week, I was informed I was accepted to the Graduate Program; one of the youngest students ever to be accepted.

Now, I sit here with a medical bracelet and my neck throbbing from a dozen needle holes from core biopsies. This was merely the end result of a myriad of tests and procedures that I endured over my senior year spring break, a spring break which most college students spend in Cancun or Cabo. When I got home from finals week, a week which not only included studying and preparation for my 21 credit hours of classes (which I am on overload in order to graduate ahead of time to minimize my expenses) but also 20 hours of work I hold in order to pay for my own food and rent, my parents noticed I looked especially run-down. I slept for 2 days straight. When I awoke, I was sick, sicker than I had been even though I have been continuously sick since I contracted the swine flu last fall. My lymph nodes were swollen so large you could see them sticking out of my neck, my sinuses were so infected I blew green snot out of my nose every five minutes and my tonsils were so large they touched in the middle.

When I went to the doctor, she diagnosed me with sinusitis and tonsillitis right away. The moment my doctor noticed the lumps on my neck, her face fell. I could tell that even though she tried to tell me it was fine, she was masking grave concern. My suspicions were confirmed when she immediately scheduled not only a blood test, but a CT scan and an appointment with an ear, nose and throat doctor for THAT afternoon. As I drove myself to the hospital to get my blood drawn and to the radiologist to get the scan, I could do nothing but think back to the week before when I was planning what I would do on my 21st birthday.

I woke up the next morning to a phone call. "Hello, is Kait Vinson there? I'd like to speak to her about scheduling a core biopsy for this afternoon."
I finished the call and as soon as I hung up the phone I dropped it and it clattered on to the floor. It was then I knew that my very life could be in danger.

My dad took off work that day to go with me to the doctor's office, not even 24 hours after I left it. I already knew the news she was about to tell me but even so, as the words left her mouth, my heart shattered into little pieces and dropped to my toes. I sat there, dazed, as she explained the upcoming appointments for the pre-op with the radiologist, one with the ear, nose and throat doctor, the biopsy, and finally, the appointment with the cancer center in Denver where I could receive treatment and continue school if I could. My blood count was normal she said, but coupled with the absence of mono and the high LDH and liver enzyme levels, she said that indicates a possible presence of Lymphoma.

Doctor's offices, scans, needle pokes, finger prods and concerned expressions later, I sat with my mother in the waiting room of the hospital as an in-patient. About an hour after scouring my own test results to find that someway, somehow I could be fine, I was whisked into an operating room where the doctor performed the biopsy. He said I was brave, he said I wasn't as afraid of the pain as others. I lay there, unmoving, as I watched needle after needle being thrust into my neck; I could hear the *pop* *squelch* as the needle entered, pulled out tissue and came out again. It's a wonder my neck wasn't more sore, swollen and bruised than it was.

This was yesterday.

Today, I am wasting away the time until the results and confirmation come on Monday. All of my friends are returning to Denver tomorrow from their ski trips, bikini vacations and leisure time at home, ready to start a new term and I am here, unable to sleep, unable to move my neck for the pain and barely able to eat for the sick feeling I have in my stomach. I know that come Monday, I will have to return to my life of two jobs of 30 hours of work, 20 credit hours of school and with a new, deathly passenger along to make my ride unlike every other senior I know. I know not how I'll get through it nor why I am stricken and I cannot even take comfort in the fact that I will eventually be ok.


All I ask of you now dear friends, is that you send as much love, prayers and positive thinking my way that you can afford. I hope that I may return to you all in perfect health again soon.

Love with all my heart,
Kait