Some say the big birthdays are 16, 18 and 21 but in my life none have had as profound an impact as my 20th. 16 passed without much notice, the car keys became routine and sometimes even a hassle. 18 was uneventful; I didn’t have much interest in cigarettes and porn up here in the healthy, conservative state of Colorado. But 20, see 20 was different. It wasn’t the first birthday I didn’t celebrate, but it was the first I didn’t get anything I wanted. My list of birthday presents included the following:
- A lecture, or intervention if you will, from my parents telling me I’m too young to make huge commitments and that I needed to take some time away from my then boyfriend.
- An entire day of brand new classes at the start of a new term.
- And the cold hard fact that I was no longer a carefree teenager and that life, whether I liked it or not, was going to come bite me in the ass.
As unimpressive as those events sound, they have proven to be the three most valuable gifts I have ever received. The lecture, despite the initial shock and outburst of tears, has led me to open so many doors that I wouldn’t have bothered going out of my way for previously and I have met so many amazing people as a result. The classes turned out to be an invaluable lesson that no matter what a day means to you, or anyone else for that matter, the world doesn’t care; life goes on. And the third, well that took a while to hit me, but now that it has I must wonder, how in hell did I get here and wtf have I actually learned?
It all started when I was 14 and I decided to tie on a pair of sneakers, go to the local rec center and run around the track. Why? Because my mother was yelling at me for being a theater geek and because my brother was an awesome soccer star and I wanted to prove I wasn’t a loser. I ran once around the track and had to walk the next round. I was about to give up but I liked the feeling of moving so fast that I decided to keep at it. Little did I know this was to lead to 6 years of worn out tennis shoes, blisters, cramps, sunburns and aching so bad stairs hurt like a mother-fucker, which leads me to the first of a few things I’ve figured out while my feet pound the asphalt.
1. Do things you dislike. You may end up liking them and even if you don’t you’ll have more willpower to do other things.
2. Don’t compromise for others, you’ll compromise yourself and vice versa. (I’m not saying be mean, just don’t change yourself for someone else).
3. Don’t settle for anything, whether it’s a grade, a job, or a significant other, you’ll end up unsatisfied wishing you hadn’t just settled.
4. Any trip up in the road is another excuse to rise to the occasion and do even better next time.
5. Don’t live your life thinking someone will make you happy; they will also have to power to make you miserable.
6. If you have ever done anything you think you might regret, ask yourself, did it make you smile? If the answer is yes, there is nothing to regret.
7. (I know this next one is cliché but it’s true). Go for your dream. Apply for that job you’ve always wanted, who knows you might be pleasantly surprised. If it doesn’t exist, create it for yourself.
8. Once you get to the top, the only way you can go is down. So never accept you’ve reached the top, just keep climbing.
9. No matter what kind of pain you’re feeling someone else’s at this moment is greater.
10. Stop for beauty. See that gorgeous sunset? Stunning clouds? Pause and enjoy it, you never know when you’ll see something like that again.
11. Don’t blame others for your failures; you wouldn’t blame them for your successes.
12. Don’t quit. The more you give up, the more often you want to give up. It’s a vicious cycle.
13. Think of yourself as a block of beautiful old wood. Every time you consider “starting over” or changing yourself, don’t paint over that wood with a solid color, it will fade and peel. Instead, give yourself a new coat of varnish; it will brighten the wood, bring out its individual grains and prevent warping when tough times come around.
14. And a last one just for fun (and because 13 is unlucky). If you can smell your own cologne/perfume, you’re wearing too much.
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